Well that was pretty fast wasn’t it?
It’s not gonna be easy to write this post. A lot of people will likely completely write me off and I think I need to be fine with that already. I’m pretty new to the WordPress community so I don’t know like… the whole history of certain bloggers and their reputation. All I know is blogger The Wytch of the North gave me the strength (unintentionally?) to write this and drop my walls finally. Through her posts, I felt Woden’s presence and the comfort and strength to finally move forward. So, without further a due…
I’m undergoing spirit/shamanic illness
There. I said it.
If you all don’t believe me that’s fine and I really don’t care anymore. The people who do are the ones who will matter the most in this journey and I refuse to give power any longer to a community that highly abused me emotionally + gaslighted me consistently over the past few years.
I knew this was happening to me for a long while now, but it wasn’t until very recently I finally got professionally vetted (as mentioned in my previous post) by a legitimate shaman practitioner of an unbroken, indigenous tradition that I highly trust. I just won’t give out names for the privacy of all involved for the time being. What I do know is this is really happening to me and has been for years. It’s not fun and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. I had absolutely no say or choice on whether I wanted this or not and it was confirmed I was chosen by my gods and ancestors since birth to undergo this. I received a lot of abuse from the neo-pagan community because my spiritual experiences were not “mundane” enough for their liking. When I spoke out, I was bullied further. I’m not giving you all power over me anymore…
The next step for me is initiation. If I don’t do this, my sickness with worsen and strike harder than usual. Both my friend and my deities reassured me I will find a teacher very soon. It’s only a matter of playing the waiting game.
I’m still sick with a flu so I’m gonna write more on this subject another time. Just for now… I had to finally stop hiding. Woden gave me the strength to write this post and for that, I feel I’m doing the right thing. Uh… if anyone reading this knows this is happening to them and is experiencing similar? my heart and email are open to you all without judgement. I don’t CARE how weird or abnormal your spiritual situation might be. NO JUDGEMENT. You can find my email linked above this blog.
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